Tips to Get Through Tough Times

Acknowledge and feel your feelings.

Don’t fight it. Not dealing with or acknowledging feelings simply postpones, and perhaps intensifies and aggravates negative emotions that will present themselves at a later date.

It can be overwhelming and consequently people can’t move forward because they’re actually not feeling their emotions.  Feel the hurt, loss, sadness, anger or stress.

When you are overwhelmed talk, write, exercise and eat well. As well don’t forget to have a good cry! Be kind to yourself and don’t judge how you feel, let it be and give yourself 5 minutes a day to let them out!

Talk about it

Talking always lets you hear people’s different perspectives and often when you verbalize you get clarity and better understanding. People have had similar experiences and sharing stories lets us learn. You are never alone.

Be kind and healthy to yourself.

Eat well and start your day with a positive self affirmation. Go to the spa, the gym or a walk and clear your head. Download a mindful app on your phone and meditate for 5 to 20 minutes! You won’t be any good to anyone otherwise.

Consider the bigger picture.

Always put things into perspective. Don’t over exaggerate. There usually is someone dealing with something way worse then what you are dealing with and of course, at the same time, there is someone with a much smaller issue to deal with. This is life.

Practice acceptance.

Accept what you can control and don’t fight what you can’t. For example, a divorce is the prime example where you cannot control what happens under the ex’s roof; you can only control what happens under your own roof. If something is really difficult, picture going up an escalator and taking all the bad thoughts from your head and putting them in a garbage bin at the top. Then, turn around and go ride it right back down!

Ask for advice and help.

Don’t try and fix things on your own. Asking for support and concern can actually reinforce current relationships. People always love to be needed and it is calming to get that support from the closest and most trustworthy people in our lives.

Look at the circumstance as an outsider.

I always ask my clients and friends, what would you do in this situation if it happened to your best friend, or your child etc? It is fascinating how clear we can become when we reverse the situation or event  think about what we advise them.

Surround yourself with people who have your back.

Did you read my blog on “who is on your wagon?”? If people are holding you back and not being supportive you must get rid of them! We do not want criticism, judgments, gossip or unpredictability in our lives. This will not aid in getting though tough times. We only want positive and healing energy.

Give yourself time.

Try to see past the hardship. When you’re in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside. But, with some distance and time passing, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. We have recovered before from arguments with people, breakups, job losses, bad report cards….and that anxiety attack didn’t kill you the last time! In fact the probability of you leading better relationships and attaining awesome life skills from your challenge, is in fact, high.

Live one moment at a time.

Whether it is one hour at a time, a day or a week, it is important to stop and breathe to bring our focus back to our surroundings.  Look around you and notice the trees and the clouds for a minute and realize that you can change your thoughts. You can live in the present and you are able to think of nothing else but what is simply around you at that moment.

Just do it.

Just decide to deal with it and do something. Wake up one morning and say today I will begin to end this rough patch.  Today is going to be a good day. repeat it every morning! You decide! Do something. Make a list, call someone or do some research. You’re not the first to have this happen to. Don’t let it go on to long or it will drain you and cause health issues. We don’t want tons of stress to bother us but rather we want stress to teach us how to be better, calmer and more effective. Get empowered!

You are not a result of your past

In fact, it is your responses and current actions that define you the most. You are learning, growing and evolving from your tough times. Always ask yourself what are you learning. If you are learning something this is always a plus.

When the time is right, look for the moral of the story, the lesson. Adversities are chances to grow and learn. They expand our understandings of who is around us. I have said many times before that there are hidden blessings that come with almost every hardship; strength, insight, empathy or awareness to a new or continued spiritual mindfulness.