The Night It All Changed

Today marks the one-month countdown to my 50th birthday.

Five years ago on this day, a month before my 45th birthday, I experienced a moment that transformed one of the worst seasons of my life into one of the better. Let me explain.

My mom had recently passed away and I was having my neighbours over for dinner. They asked what I planned to do for my birthday, the first one I would be celebrating with both my parents gone. As an only child, this was especially hard. To top it off, I was also finalizing my divorce. Understandably, I was not in the mood to celebrate much of anything. As I thought about the dismal state of my life, my friends reminded me that my mother and I always planned meaningful and memorable celebrations for each other’s birthdays every single year.

POP!

I looked up thinking a light in the ceiling had cracked above my head and I asked if anyone else had heard the loud noise. They all shook their heads no. There was a calm silence around the table.

The next moment changed everything for me.

As I went to take a sip of my white wine, I noticed a big crack in the shape of a heart had formed on the side of my glass. While someone else might have thought this was a happy accident, I knew there was something fascinating about it. As my friends began to notice the heart crack in my glass, tears starting welling up in their eyes. There were even a few fearful shakes as the energy in the room was so still. We were all trying to process this moment that was so clear, so simple, and had literally popped into our lives.

Someone finally broke the silence: “Alright then, your mom is in this room right now.”

This was the first sign I received from my mother in heaven. Until that point I hadn’t been particularly religious or spiritual, but a serendipitous moment like this pretty much changes your beliefs instantly. The reflection and wonder that came with this first heart truly set me on a path to challenge and create new beliefs. I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep much that night.

There was no question that I missed my mom and dad terribly. After my mother died I was so desperately overcome by grief and anxiety, and I was convinced I wouldn’t be able to overcome the pain of loss. I slowly began a journey of healing. I started reading books; I followed a like-minded community on social media; and I signed up for both a six-week grieving course and a year-long mindfulness course. Seeing so many people open their hearts and souls and telling their stories taught me so much. They were managing surprisingly well under their own circumstances of loss, grief and pain, and they were generous in sharing the tips and techniques that worked for them. I started to look at the process of how I could do the same for my life.

Life is about choices and decisions.

Having been knocked down so many times in the last 12 years, I knew I had the drive to figure out a way to be a happier person and had to challenge the games of my mind, heart and soul. I learned to open my mind to the lessons learned from the laws of attraction, the power of visualizations, and the effects of every breath you take.

• The law of attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts people can bring positive or negative experiences into their life.

• The daily practice of visualizing your dreams completed can quickly accelerate your success with those dreams, goals and ambitions.

• Purposeful breaths can stimulate brain growth, lower stress levels, help reduce anxious and negative thoughts, lower blood pressure, improve heart rate, just to name a few.

I became open to these new behaviors, feelings and exercises which I believe led to that first heart on February 3, 2013. What is fascinating and truly amazing is, since that night, I have received over 30 hearts in many different forms.

Lately this phenomenon has even carried over to my friends. Just the other day my girlfriend was walking her dog as she was thinking about what to do for my 50th birthday. She looked down and a puddle of water in the shape of a heart appeared. Another friend was walking one day thinking about going for lunch at the pizza place I went to the day my mom passed away. As she looked down at the sidewalk, during a month when we hadn’t received rain in weeks, she found a puddle in the shape of a heart.

My kids are finding hearts in the most adorable places and as much as it is a crazy, nervous, scary energy; it creates the biggest smiles we almost ever get!

Do you believe in signs or symbols? As I share the stories about my hearts, I hear about many other signs people find; ladybugs, owls, dimes, pennies, bluejays etc.

Pay attention to moments

I’ve seen how spirit communicates in many ways, and know that understanding the meaning of the signs, symbols, or numbers that POP up can allow you to gather a great deal of information about your world. It’s up to you to be open so you can notice the first signs.

I can honestly say I’ve now trained my heart as well as my eyes. I’m open to recognizing that there are little miracles popping up in my life and with these come very significant and exceptional lessons to learn from.

I cried this morning but am blessed to have learned the practice of changing my thoughts to positive ones so that I may smile and maybe even laugh soon after the tears flow.

Even if we are relatively content, we can always choose to be open to attaining an improved level of love, joy and success.

This I am grateful for.